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Rock Band II (Xbox 360, Playstation 3, Wii)

With Rock Band’s release in November of 2007, the world was exposed to a new kind of music game. Not only was it FUCKING AMAZING; it caused a heard of lazy gamers to get up off their asses and "work" at playing in a plastic band. Now Rock Band 2 has followed its predecessor’s lead and pushed the limit of BALLS OUT AWESOMENESS.

Rock Band 2 is two times everything! No longer must we wait for band mates to get their ass to your house. Now we can hook up via Xbox Live or PSN and Rock out with our cocks out.

The larger than life collection of Music that will no doubt satisfy...however if the 84 songs that ship on on the disc aren't enough you can also add the 56 from Rock Band 1! On top of that, there are more than 500 to download through the XBL and PSN!

Additionally the Rock Band series will be forever remembered due to the fact that it has brought one of the most legendary achievements ever to grace the PSN or XBL Communities. The "Endless Setlist" requires that you play every song on expert, without stopping! No bathroom breaks! Nothing but you your controller for 7-8 hours!

So, it all comes down to meat...and I'm giving this game a SPICY PEPERAMI! Get your wallet out because its time to Ride the Lightning!!! (or in our case, the BEEF WAVE)
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Army of Two (Xbox360)

Before I review this I’d just like to take the time to say, THIS GAME IS FUCKING AWESOME!!!! So now that that's on the table, we can talk about why this game is godlike.

To start, when I picked this game up I was looking for something that had a well thought out co-op know for those man-on-man moments. Little did I know that Army of Two was just what the doctor had ordered.

This game is literally all about team work! (or in my case...use friend for target dummy) I quickly realized that without a partner to get your back, you're looking at you vs. a shit storm...and the storm is winning.

Everything you do throughout the campaign mode is about team work; whether it's lifting your partner to allow for him to get to a higher location or giving him a deep tissue massage after a long days work, you're very dependent on his skill.

I did however find that playing the game with an AI partner leaves a man yearning for more. Let's just say, the computer is a little bit of a slow poke when that aforementioned shit storm hits.

The game itself has some real high points. My personal favorite is the ability to ultimately customize guns. You can do everything, from adding a shield to making it diamond studded and gold. (The AI guy kept equipping the double sided salami attachment?)

This game is a good time, and you’ll have a good time, and whoever you play with will probably have a good time. All in all, it's a fatty ALL BEEF MORTADELLA!

-Gamer X
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Pure (Xbox 360)

You have probably noticed the wealth of fantastic looking ATV games advertised as of late. They make you start to wonder..."are these games any good?" Well, I can tell you first-hand, most of these games are shit! However, Pure IS FUCKING AWESOME! This game actually lives up to all of the hype it has received.

Being a hand picked reviewer for, I am here to tell you that this game deserves every single five-star, 100%, A+ or salty sausage it receives. Most people wouldn’t expect an extremely sweet game from publisher Disney Interactive, but they would be super wrong. Disney has laid the smack on many of the negative perceptions to prove that if they want to do something great, they’ll do it!

It is also my duty to inform you that THIS GAME IS FUCKING HARD!! Whether it be completing a race or attempting to receive all first place spots...this takes time, focus, and extreme know-how.

The game allows you to build your own dream ATV, jack the engine more so than ever possible and do some sweet shit while 100+ feet in the air. Hell you can even make a luxury ATV with some sick ass seat patterns!

I highly recommend the purchase of this game. I'm giving it a 17 INCH KOSHER BRATWURST! However, be warned; even though the game is rated “E” for everyone, in order to achieve success you'll have to posses more than a 3rd grade education.